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profile

name: woonwei
school: hwachonginstitutionkonghwaschool
class: 3h2092g081g076/206
council: 9thproedcouncil36thhighschoolcouncil
8thproedcouncil35thhighschoolcouncil
ep3: hcdebate
links

zhao yong justin yuan zhi yi yun fraser samuel tay nick chuan jun wei dk sophin wee shuen long jian liki kah how jek jin shaun edward yu yang
I'm sorry, but I lost the rest of the links.
Please tag so I can get the URLs back. Thanks (:

archives

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credits

layout designer and image: eloquent
Now Playing: Unbeautiful by Lesley Roy
date: Tuesday, April 1, 2008
title:
time: 10:20 PM

This is crazy, and it's killing me inside out.
I know I don't show much emotions, perhaps happiness, anger, indifference and perhaps shock. But never sadness...sorry. This is totally random, so I hope that you'll just take some time and read if you bother. If you don't, might as well. I don't really care.

Anyway, as I was saying...every emotion I cannot supress...only sadness. Sadness is like a drug, a cigarette. Once you try it, you get hooked. You always go back for more. And yet, I was taught from young never to try drugs, NOR cigarettes.

And I haven't. I've been a good boy, until now. Recently, I've started taking drugs, I've began smoking cigarettes. Psychological drugs. Emotional cigarettes. I've been hooked, and it gets harder day by day just trying to hide the fact that I'm sad.

Yes, in case you were wondering, I AM human. Just because I tell anyone who is frigging sad to be happy does NOT represent, nor IMPLY that I am not SAD. Look. What happened today is killing me. From the inside.

I feel hypocritical, I feel like I've just committed a greater sin than murder - lie. The feeling is called GUILT. No , I don't cry. But yes, it kills me from the inside when I find out that I've hurt someone, or lied. Don't think just because I can lie with a straight face means I don't experience guilt.

This pposed to be April's Fools Day. How apt. I feel like a fool. A fool to believe that all things can be solved with a smile and lots of comfort. In the past, I may not have understood what sadness meant, for I've never taken that first pill, nor blew my first smoke, but now that I did, I'm hooked.

And yes, comfort would do just fine now. Only that I have no one to turn to...do I? It's around time I woke up to the harsh realities of life. Not everything can be solved with just comforting words, nor "THE BIMBO FAMILY LOVES YOU! :DD".

I'm just so lost right now. I need to find direction in life again. Only then can I move on. But for now, I'm hooked.

To those involved just now: I hope you don't feel annoyed that we did that, nor feel guilty. We didn't mean for that to happen, we just wanted to talk. Never did we expect that we would turn to such a sensitive topic. We know some of you may feel 'arrowed' or directly implicated, but do realise that if you guys don't have that bond, you'll never be able so succeed. I'm sorry, and well...sorry.


Something is telling me this isn't enough. Nor is writing letters to each and every one of them. The damage is done, the dust is settling.

You guys may think I don't care...but in truth, I do. And it's killing me inside. Out.